Unity.

I am a married woman. 

What does this mean? Let me tell you.

It means that I am faced daily with this person who I fell in love with once upon a time. Me. It means that even though I love myself, apparently more than anyone else, I made a choice to honor and respect and love another even more. It means that I have to do this, that I have to choose to do this, even when I don't feel honored, respected, or loved by anyone. It means that it's not about me. 

I got really used to things being about me after 28 years of having only me to look after and to love. I thought I was pretty neat, too. Easy to love, lovely to be around. 

And then I got married. And then I started to fall out of love with myself.

This is the worst thing. And this is the very best thing. 

I am learning what it means to get dressed in the morning in something rather unfashionable. I am learning how to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. One foot at a time, my Father teaches me how to step into these threads. He teaches me how to wear something I've never been good at putting on by myself. He teaches me that I was never meant to do it by myself. 

Being married means that God is wrecking me for His glory. Being married means that I have made a promise to someone that, by the very grace of my Maker, I can keep. Being married means falling out of love with my old self, and learning to love me all over again. With a partner by my side. 

What a gift.